November 20th, 2018
Written by: George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, Peter Mackenzie Litten
Starring: Caroline Munro, Simon Scuddamore, Carmine Iannaccone
Tagline: There's Horror in the Halls... Lynching in the Lunchroom... Murder in Metal Shop.
Trivia: The film was shot in England with actors adopting American accents to give the impression that it took place in the USA. Furthermore, in the UK, April Fool's Day ends at noon. In the UK, if one plays a prank after noon they are deemed the "fool". The filmmakers were unaware that America doesn't follow this tradition and April Fool's Day is in fact an all-day event.
Yes! It's been a while since I have found a new eighties slasher of such wonderful insanity! Slaughter High has everything that made the slasher genre great! It has a basic teenage revenge plot, a ton of creatively carried out murders, a decent amount of nudity, great (ie terrible) score, and a dash of half baked comedic moments. And to really up the ante, the movie is also a holiday movie that focuses on April Fools Day (which was the original title for the film but had to be changed when the other April Fools came out the same year). Okay, the movie isn't perfect. The ending is actually pretty awful. Apparently the filmmakers were short of about fifteen minutes when they made the film and had to tack a chase on to the end of the film that seems to go on and on and on forever. But slashers usually have lame endings and who watches them for the endings anyways? Plus, this was filmed in England with English actors, so it's fun watching them try to pull of American accents. So sit back, and enjoy the insanity.
The movie begins with the school hottie luring the school nerd into the girl's restroom to have sex with him. This is an eighties movie, so of course it is a trap. While there, she tricks him into stripping down and then a dozen or so student assholes bust in to film him naked. If that is not enough they electrocute him with a car battery before dunking him in a toilet. The bullies (although I think with the electrocuting, terrorists might be a better term) get in trouble and according to bully logic decide they need to get back at the nerd so they mess with some chemicals he's working with in the chemistry lab causing the place to burn down and severely burning him. Fast forward around ten years and the bullies are all grown up when they are all invited to a reunion for just them at the high school. I repeat the reunion is just for the ten of them (not suspicious). You can guess where the rest of the movie goes from here... someone is killing them one by one. It's the nerd. He kills the last one after a final fifteen minute chase scene of the hottie.
Let's get down to brass tax. The killings. I remember someone on Twitter posted a few months ago about how Black people are actually rarely the first ones killed in horror movies. While I had trouble coming up with specific movies, the first person killed in this movie is in fact the black janitor who is oddly enough living in the high school as the caretaker and was not part of the bullying (weird). Anyways, this movie has some pretty great death scenes. During one memorable scene, one of the jerks chugs a poisoned beer that causes his stomach to explode spilling his guts on the floor. Another person has their bath water turned to acid causing a cool face melting scene, looking very much like the face melting scene from Raiders of the Lost Arc. A car engine fan is lowered onto a person's head. There's an electrocution while a couple bangs. After the first slashers of early 1980s, filmmakers needed to get creative with their killings, and this movie goes for the gold.
Speaking of couples banging, there is a fair amount of sex and nudity in the movie. The big sex scene is amazing, not for its sexiness but for its absurdity. So while all their friends are being killed and while the girl's boyfriend is out trying to fix a car to save everyone, some girl decides to bang the guy's best friend. If that isn't odd enough, she also chooses this moment to confess that she is pregnant. Also, earlier in the film, another of the girls gets blood all over her so she goes to take a bath. Why is there a bath in a high school? Don't worry about it. What this does mean is both gratuitous nudity and the chance to melt her in an acid bath. And just to balance the nudity, the movie also has some full frontal male nudity.
A few last side notes before I get to the odd ending. The film's score sounds like it was done entirely with a Casio Keyboard in the best possible way. There is also a great eighties metal song that was written for the movie that says something about April Fools Day and revenge. Also, apparently in England, April Fool's Day ends at noon, a plot point in this movie that will make no sense to American audiences.
I already mentioned the unnecessary chase scene but haven't yet talked about the insanity the follows it. Chase scene, kills girl, classic slasher stuff. But afterwards, our killer begins to see the ghosts of the bullies who are now here to haunt him. Apparently, a supernatural warning not the retaliate against bullies? The supernaturalism comes out of nowhere, but wait, the killer wakes up and he is an a mental institution. Oh, so he was crazy and it was all just a dream. Phew. But wait, no. He rips off the face of his nurse, so it wasn't a dream? Or it was? Eh, who really cares. The main thing to get is that the movie has some dope kills, laughs, and nudity.
...I've said my piece, what's your thoughts?
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