October 21, 2018
Written by: Mark Patrick Carducci
Starring: Clyde Hayes, Leilani Sarelle, Donna Locke
Budget: $1,500,000
Quote: "Now let me get this straight. You're telling me that these, these things are inside the Golden Gate Bridge, one. Two, that they only come out at night. And three, that they're responsible for the death of fifteen or more kids and three of my police officers?"
Trivia: Some of the "maniac" characters are credited as two different performers. The film production shut down for three months due to financial difficulties. When shooting resumed, many of the performers were unavailable and were recast as such.
Oh man, this one had all the potential of a really great, weird eighties monster movie! It sounds like something that Clive Barker would have dreamed up with bizarre monsters, elaborate makeup and costumes, and a violent script. However, due in part to enormous budget problems and poor directing on the part of Joseph Mangine (this movie will pretty much help to end his career) the movie comes across as cheesy and disorganized to the point where it becomes an incoherent mess. Somehow, the director even made New Wave look cooler than Metal, a feat never achieved since. The movie supposedly had a $1.5 million budget, by no means a tiny budget. While the costumes and the monsters are pretty cool and there are a couple of great scenes, the movie feels unfinished (because it is) without any mythology to make the neon maniacs interesting. Oh, and water kills them? The heck? Stupid.
So the movie is about a dozen or so of these monster guys who live underneath the Golden Gate Bridge and come out at night to kill unsuspecting people. Why are they there? What is their story? If water kills them why did they pick such a rainy and water surrounded city to call home? That all had to be cut for budget reasons so we'll never know. Anyways, one night they go out to murder this teenage beer drinking party in a nearby park. They kill all the teens except for one girl who is able to escape. Trying to explain to people what happened, she is ostracized by the town as a weirdo because of her unbelievable story. The only people there for her are her brand new boyfriend and some tomboy girl who is obsessed with horror movies. Later the tomboy sees the monsters and her and the girl have a bonding experience. While fighting off the monsters they find out that water kills them. They get a great plan to lure the monsters to their costumed high school's battle of the bands and arm everyone with squirt guns. The monsters come crashing into the dance during a slow song and kill a bunch of people. The tomboy squirts some of them and a cop is killed...
I put the ellipses at the end of the synopsis because there is no ending. The movie just starts showing credits because the director couldn't figure out the finances and they ran out of money forcing the abrupt ending to the film. The monsters aren't killed, we don't know what happens with the main characters, there is absolutely no closure in the movie. Director Mangine started as a cinematographer doing dozens of genre movies and Neon Maniacs was his directorial debut. It was also his last directing job. After this movie he would go on to do cinematography on the Swamp Thing (big love for Swamp Thing!) television show before leaving showbiz (at least according to his IMDB credits). It's really too bad because the writer wrote a backstory to each of the monsters which could have created a really cool mythology!
This movie is not without its great and good/bad moments. In the initial park attack sequence, one guy is getting head from a girl when the samurai monster chops his head off and then kills her. I so wish he would have made a "getting head" pun after decapitating him. The other murders and gore during this sequence are also great, showing the potential of the movie. However, you can tell when the picture ran out of money and things get less and less coherent. The battle of the bands scene is great in a so bad its good kind of way. First, I had to ask my wife several times, is this a high school or a college? It looks like everyone is drinking beer and the actors are well into their twenties (some pushing thirty) but it is in fact high school. The two bands "battling" are a new wave band with the girl from the movie's new boyfriend as lead singer. Their first song is actually a pretty decent new wave song but the second slow song and the ridiculous "metal" song are silly and go on for way too long! I'd guess that the movie was running too short so that is why ten minutes or so of the movie are devoted to the bands playing their songs. The maniacs themselves are also pretty cool. Each one is unique and I'm sure has a cool backstory).
It's really too bad Clive Barker or someone didn't make this movie instead, but it really does have all the makings of a great film. It's also too bad that the director wasn't able to get a sequel to where he could have explained the maniacs better... or maybe it's a good thing.
...what's your thoughts?
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